You know without being too spiritual, I’ll explain to you in a simple way, why women should not seek after men. I have found it extremely disturbing to see women take on a position they haven’t been equipped for. I say this not to offend women, I’m not a misogynistic – I love y’all, but it’s important for women to know this. As a woman, I assume, you’re hoping for a man that’s mature enough to understand what’s important in life and take lead. Some just wait and have fairy tale thoughts of prince charming, while others take on the challenge and go on consistent dates. However, whenever a woman starts to date, whereas she’s specifically seeking for someone, the result of it – mostly– doesn’t meet her expectations. I know I’m not speaking for everyone, but I’m sure a few can relate.
Why are those expectations rarely met?
Life was created in order and structure; everything we do has to abide to its „rules“. If you want to lose weight – you’re required to a healthy diet and working out. If you want to gain further education & understanding – you’re required to study, go to school and read. So, shortly said, every desire requires an action and this being done in order with structure. It’s impossible to just sit and hope for a job without filling out applications. I think you get it… So what does this have to do with women not to seeking men? A relationship between a man and a woman has its own rules & guidelines, which is based on the foundation I just mentioned earlier: order & structure. Male are natural born hunters, if a man sees something he wants – he is going to get it. However, if he is not interested – he won’t pay any attention to it. It’s simple. A woman on the other hand is different; women are more likely to develop the role of becoming a wife. They play with Barbie’s, love to baby sit (the only example that I could come up with lol) and hope for prince charming to come around and find them. In short, women are supposed to be hunted by men!
Okay, so what happens when a woman takes on a different role and starts to be the hunter? In my opinion, a woman is going against nature. I’m not saying that women aren’t supposed to take on leadership positions, but this is how I view it. There are multiple reasons for women to get frustrated while dating men. I’ll try to break it down and give you two examples:
- When a woman is fed up being by herself and starts to go men hunting – the woman takes on a role she’s spiritually, mentally, emotionally & physically not equipped for. This could result in dating a man that is completely lazy in all four stages (spirit, mental, emotion & physical).
- Because women are emotional (affectionate) a man is more likely entering the date thinking – all she wants is some physical attraction – whereas the woman is actually, unfortunately not always, seeking for true love.
What happens here is a complete turn around in order and structure – no longer is the man actively and passionate about getting what he wants, but has q tendency of being lazy and viewing the women as an easy catch. Here’s the clue ladies, if you want to be treated as the princess your dad said you are; stop searching for prince charming and live like the princess you’re ought to be. It’s getting tiring to hear women going on dates, to have a few connections with some guys, but then end up hurt because they’ve given themselves up too easy. It’s not only your fault ladies; us men are to blame too.
Many men know that they aren’t interested in certain women, yet because the woman makes herself so available – they don’t see anything wrong pleasing her physical need and move on. THAT’S WRONG! I can say that’s wrong because I used to do the same. I would date certain women, knowing that I’m not interested in them, but because they made it easy for me – I saw nothing wrong in taking advantage of them. I say this not to brag, honestly this was immature of me – but I say this so you (men) don’t continue the same mistakes I did. Men, when you’re not interested in a woman – let her know; especially when she insist on it and tries sleeping with you. Women, if a man isn’t showing much interest, you have to know that there’s NOTHING wrong with YOU – just stop throwing yourself on him. It’ll benefit both parties.
Going back to the points I made – a man is there to lead, provide and protect. Whenever a woman throws this out of proportion, the man is being stripped of his position. You might not think that it’s that deep, but it really is. As a man you want to show your trophy, you want to be the one that brags saying: “ Look what I caught isn’t she beautiful? & Yes she’s mine don’t touch her!” Now, if this doesn’t happen and a woman does all of it, it hurts a man pride and makes order and structure ineffective. Men, know that I’m speaking of matured men, will no longer feel the need to lead, provide or protect. He wasn’t required to put in any work, so he has nothing to be proud of. The point that I’m making is that – we and I mean everybody men and women – have to come back to our given nature and stop going against it.
Ladies, if you want to be in a relationship but cannot find the right man – stop seeking and start working on yourself. It’s simple – you attract what’s within you. Work on your relationship with God, yourself and your goals. This is how you create a standard and men will respect you. Men will the know that they’ll have to have something going for themselves in order to meet/get/date you. It’s going to take while because men take longer maturing, but once this is understood and he truly wants you – HE WILL NOT STOP PURSUING YOU!
A short advice to the Men: if you know that you aren’t ready and are not interested in her, please – let her know and stop playing with her emotions. You’re not just hurting her, but you’re also making it hard for the next guy, who’s actually serious about it. I know I said I wasn’t going to be spiritual, but I just have to back this up with some scripture – for the haters LOL! Genesis 2:20-23 speaks about the creation of Eve. God took Eve out of the rib of Adam. Adam was the first person in the Garden of Eden, when Eve got added unto him – she wasn’t completely aware of her location. She had no knowledge of the things in the Garden. It was Adam who showed her around and taught her everything. Imagine Eve would have just taken on the role of Adam and try to instruct him and teach him on the things God has placed in the Garden. Everything would have been confused because she had no proper knowledge. I’m glad it didn’t go that way because this allowed order and structure to be functional. Ladies, allow a man to be a man and be the woman you have to be. I truly believe that if we stick to the nature of how God created things to be – we’re better off and will cause less hurt to one another. I hope this helped you Until then, God bless you :)!
© Alfred Ntiamoah and authenticitee, 2015
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